man its tough to campaign for president, bounce at a strip club, coach cheerleading, be a full time pimp and fashionisto, and keep up with this blog. with 50 some days left till the election we need to find a good running mate for the STRANGE party. What we need is someone that can throw a real curve ball to both the Republican and Democratic party. If your interested in the job, and possibly becoming the VP of the United States send us your pic/resume to rex@attusapparel.com . we are open to but not commited to the following qualifications:
Wrongly accused and serving time in prison
On the endangered species list (The American List)
Dabble in martial arts (Ninja, Karate, Ultimate Fighting)
Dabble in witchcraft, black arts
You are a certified Internet Celebrity (Perez Hilton, Starwars Kid, that dude that cries for Spears)
Ever wonder what a presidential candidates favorite car is, or better yet what their dream car is? Probably not, but I have. If I could have any ride out there it would probably be “Interceptor” from the movie MAD MAX. That was one radical ride. Do you think the Interceptor would make a good presidential ride? Wonder what Obama and McCains dream car is? Probably a Suburban.
Don’t you think candidates should cuss a little more? Nothing like dropping the F bomb in a speech to get the crowd roaring. Unfortunately you never hear cuss words used on the campaign trail, maybe I will be the first. You know I am not afraid. I think I may have turrets. I was just giving a campaign speech at a cheerleading camp and all of the sudden I started chanting “sh#t f%ck sh#t f%ck titty titty bang bang”. I love cussing and picking out my favorite curse word is pretty tough. Probably the word I have the most joy in using is “CACA”. Caca is the Spanish term for poo, or A childish term for excrement. Slang for shit. Like if I fock up I will say real loud “CACA”.
I wonder what Obama and McCains favorite curse word to use is?
Initially I would say the best flick of all time is a porn, or a skin flick as the old timers say. I will leave that for a later post though. Picking your favorite movie is a tough tough call, so many good ones to choose from. I just wanted to share with you some of my all time favorite movies. So when I am super hung over and all sexed out I like to sit back and watch some of dees bad boys.
Sniper - Tom Berenger is one crazy matha facka in this flick
Dude Wheres My Car - I just like the word DUDE
Shawshank Redemption - The one made my entire fraternity at Harvard cry
The Notebook - This one is just a trick to make the ladies think I am sensitive
Top Gun - cause the guys on my old rowing team used to call me Maverick
Elf - Cause I am one
Scarface- Cause if the rappers can dig it so can i, plus if i don’t get elected president then i wanna be a major drug dealer in Miami.
Wonder what Obama and McCains favorite movies are ???????
What’s hot right now in the way of shorts this summer? Short shorts, long shorts, cut off shorts, who the fock knows. Wonder what kind of shorts a politician wears? Do they even wear shorts. I don’t recall ever seeing a politician wear shorts. Their legs are probably hairless do to lack of sun, or another theory could be that they are all cyborgs and use a suit to cover up their robitic limbs. I Rex Vanderwoodsen am not a cyborg like most politicians and I love to wear shorts. The shorter the better. Ladies love my legs and I love the ladies leg’s. Wonder what kind of shorts the other candidates wear?
I focking love to watch TV, it is so much easier and refreshing than reading a book. I love wasting time and there is no better way to waste some time than by watching the good ol boob tube. Ever wonder what a presidential candidates favorite television shows are? If your curious my top five are below.
Numero Uno - 90210, all i got to say is off the hook. Steve Sanders was a pimp and a legend. I would love to have him as a running mate!
Numero Dos - 24 - Jack Bauer is a super pimp, if I am elected president Jack is the first guy I am bringing on board.
Numero Tres - Hannah Montana, cause everytime I watch this show I feel like the crew from To Catch A Preditor are going to break down my door.
Numero Quatro- Baywatch, cause Pam Andersons boobies are so BIG
Numero Cinco- Gossip Girl, cause I am Serena Vanderwoodsen’s older brother Rex Vanderwoodsen
I think the shoes you wear can tell a lot about your character and personality. Some shoes say hey look at me I skateboard, or I like athletics, or I’m a dandy, or I’m CEO, or I’m a freak, or I’m old, and some even scream hey I’m a politician. What are the shoes the current candidates wear say about their character? Wonder what kind of shoes McCain and Obama wear ???? Black shoes, bown shoes blah blah blah.
Ahhh the age old questions, boxers or briefs. Ever been curious to know what a Presidential candidate wears under his suit? Or should we say his or her suit. Myself I have always been a big fan of briefs. The smaller the better. I like underoo’s size 8 for boys, they are like the Rings of Saturn in wrestling, aint nothing getting loose. If I am attending a function, a meeting, or a speaking engagment I sometimes like to tuck a banana or a cucumber down in my briefs, just to give me a little more courage. On the weekends I prefer to go commando, just in case a lady or two needs easy access to my love member.
I wonder Obama and McCain wear boxers or briefs?????
The campaign headquarters has just received it’s first batch of Rex Vanderwoodsen 08 campaign propaganda including buttons, stickers, and posters. The shit is hot! The Strange Party is going to be a rockin come November 08. We are also finishing the touches on our campaign bus which should be ready by the end of next week (we will post pictures soon). From there we hit the road campaigning around America. Be on the lookout, we will be hitting cheer leading camps, gentleman’s clubs, churches, synagogues, community centers, hooters, roller rinks, you name it. I am confident by the end of our campaigning Obama and McCain won’t have a shot at beating me.
Have you ever wondered if your future president takes a pee while sitting or standing. We can all only assume who sits and who stands based on their gender, but the truth is you never really know. While I am sure my competitors will never reveal to you whether they sit or stand, I Rex Vanderwoodsen have no problem telling you I like to sit. Why? Because I am lazy, and I like to sit and ponder major political issues like, should I go ahead and wipe anyways?
